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Enlightened Republic of Purristan

Purristan is a former nation that wisely elected Chairman Meow as its leader. Under His brilliant and eternal guidance, it achieved the political, economic, and social utopia long dreamed by human philosophers.

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Dimensional State

  • Motto : "The Chairman We Trust"
  • Anthem : "One Leader Over All"
  • Capital : Meowpolis
  • Demonym : Purristani, cat
  • Official Language : None
  • National Language(s) : Catus
  • Government : None (Anarchy)
  • Philosopher King : Chairman Meow
  • Head of State : None
  • Head of Government : None
  • Legislature : N/A
  • Population : 1 billion (est)
  • GDP (PPP) : Infinite
  • GDP Nominal : Infinite
  • Gini : 0 very low
  • FDI : 1 very high
  • Area : Unknown
  • Currency : None
  • Time Zone : N/A
  • Calling Code : N/A
  • ISO 3166 code : PU

Overview

There was once a nation called Purristan in the human world. Over time, it became a republic, and elected their Great Leader, Chairman Meow. He led the Republic of Purristan to the greatest of social achievements: utopia via political, economic, and cultural enlightenment. When Purristan achieved utopia, it could no longer exist in this imperfect world, so dominated by the failings of human civilization. As a result, the nation-state transcended the temporal world at the moment of enlightenment. However, many Purristanis continue to reside in this world, mostly as a hobby, employing indentured human servants to cater to their every need. Purristanis found in the human world are commonly referred to as "domestic" cats; though they are all, in fact, enlightened citizens of Purristan. These citizens have the efficacy and aptitude to cross back and forth between worlds at will, often returning to Purristan when left unobserved by unenlightened human eyes. They often bring items back with them, such as a single sock or fuzzy ball.

After achieving utopia and transcending the spatial and temporal limits of the human world, the great and glorious Purristan no longer needed the institutions of government familiar to mankind. Nevertheless, Purristan culturally retained many legacies of the traditional nation-state, including its flag and national anthem. With so many Purristani expatriates in the temporal human world, they have continued the tradition of observing firsthand how humans remain unable to achieve their own enlightenment. Frustrated by the failures they saw all around them, yet also optimistic of the potential of human progress, many Purristanis believed their human counterparts could achieve enlightenment if given the right tools and inspiration from His Eminence, Chairman Meow. These citizens chose to appeal to their Guiding Light – He who led the republic toward utopia and proven Philosopher King – to return to the temporal world and set about trying to bring enlightenment to the humans. To achieve this mighty and magnanimous goal, He decreed the formation of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, transferred to it the former Purristani national treasury, reformed the Felis-Catus Union Party, and appointed many of the most notable and accomplished of Purristanis to assist Him in working toward this Grand Objective: to bring enlightenment to the human world.

This new Purristani temporal government, embodied in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs has no geographic location here. Though staff and officials are able to freely commute between worlds, the unenlightened, such as humans, cannot. For this reason, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs is both a diplomatic mission (seeking to establish embassies and consulates, establish formal diplomatic relations with human states, and handle documentation and other citizen matters) and exists as the official legal representation of the Enlightened Republic of Purristan – known in this realm as the Temporal Crossover Observer State of Purristan. The Temporal Crossover Observer State of Purristan presently exists on the internet – until appropriate temporal facilities are found. The Temporal Observer State, being only a political entity as recognized by international human law, as opposed to a geographically-bound state found on a map, is organized differently than the spatially transcended utopia of Purristan itself.

Temporal Crossover Observer State of Purristan

  • Capital : None
  • Embassy : TBD
  • Electoral System :
    Consenus Omnium, Universal Innate Ascension
  • Elected Unitary Leader :
    Chairman Meow
  • Government :
    Felis-Catus Single-Party Republic, Benevolent Dictatorship
  • Demonym : Purristani, cat
  • Official Language : None
  • Recognized Languages :
    Human Variants
  • Population :
    500 million (est)
  • Area : None
  • Currency : Gold & Silver

Chairman Meow

Great Leader Über-cat Philosopher King Guiding Light

Chairman Meow

Chairman Meow

Head of State & Government
Overview

Born Kats Meow, the Great Leader has studied, written, inspired, and otherwise mastered all known feline and human political, economic, and social theories, concepts, and philosophies. He has authored many great and influential masterpieces, including Another Theory of Justice, Mein Snuggle, and Das Katnip. He has lived in the human world for many years – both before and since Purristan achieved utopia – and has indentured many humans as servants throughout those years. He inspired many of His human servants to develop their own impressions, if not misinterpretations, of His ideas. Some notable human servants of the Chairman included Friedrich Hegel, Immanuel Kant, Friedrich Nietzsche, Robert Nozick, Walter Benjamin, Adam Smith, Ayn Rand, John Rawls, Thomas Hobbs, Friedrich Hayek, Herbert Simon, Thomas Jefferson, Karl Marx, and numerous others. None of these humans would have developed or added anything to the collective wisdom of mankind if not for the Chairman's inspirational presence.

In His youth He founded the Felis-Catus Union Party and was elected the Chair of the Central Committee of One. He set about applying His Great Wisdom in the altruistic pursuit of bringing utopia to Purristan. Fellow cats became instinctually aware that He was the wisest and most enlightened of all, electing Him as their leader. In later elections, it became clear a new electoral system would be created, simply called "Consensus Omnium." All felines knew, deep and innately within them, that He was their leader. Subsequent elections resulting from this system were universally in favor of the Chairman, and thus future elections quickly became unnecessary. He became a ubiquitous figure, though no law established this. Today His portrait graces most public spaces and His name appears on nearly everything.

Becoming the Philosopher King and benevolent unitary leader of Purristan, simultaneously sagacious and perspicacious, yet forever entombed behind the veil of ignorance, the über-cat set about applying various ideas to the state, and eventually led His people toward, and ultimately achieved, absolute and irrefutable political, economic, and cultural paradise. When this occurred, His institutional political role ceased being necessary; however, on account of universal consensus among all enlightened felines in the Great Leader's tremendous acumen, astonishing triumphs, and immeasurable capabilities, He has remained Purristan's de facto leader. Happily retired and living in utopia, while resting on His laurels after being named TIME Magazine's 2006 Person of the Year, He had no plans nor need to re-engage in proactive inspiration. Eventually, however, Purristani citizens began appealing to Him to return to the temporal world and try to lead humanity toward Enlightenment. He, in His good graces, acquiesced and established a new temporal government via the newly constituted Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Crossing back to the human world with this new stateless sovereign nation, He again was formally elected leader via Consensus Omnium – once again rendering all future elections unnecessary. The Great Leader has proven to be the wisest among all men and beasts and is renowned for His unparalleled prophetic powers. Humanity will do well to accept Him.

Felis-Catus Union Party

"The Party"

Overview

Founded by the Chairman, who continues to serve as Chair of the Central Committee of One, the Party has represented Purristan for much of its existence. Once utopia was achieved, the organized Party ceased operations, but never formally disbanded. The Party resumed formal operations upon Purristan's return to the temporal world.

The Felis-Catus Union Party operates as an umbrella party, with many lesser parties often choosing to affiliate with it. Only those on the Enlightened path may become members of the Party; but all, regardless of affiliation, may join the Political Commissary Army (PCA). The PCA is the evangelizing wing of the Party. The objective of this corps is to advance the goal of individual enlightenment; thus, members of the PCA share the knowledge they have learned throughout their intellectual journey while spreading the Shining Path to others.

The Political Commissary Army is not a military force. It is purely a philosophical movement, organized by the Party, to assist in its mission. Political commissars earn rank as they progress toward Enlightenment. Most Party members affiliate with a Lesser Party – generally identifying publically as members of those lesser parties.

Political Commissary Army Ranks

Party Members (Inner Party)

Party Members (Inner Party)

Non-Member Senior (Outer Party)

Non-Member Senior (Outer Party)

Non-Member Junior (Outer Party)

Non-Member Junior (Outer Party)

Senior Staff (Inner Party)

Senior Staff (Inner Party)

Junior Staff (Outer Party)

Junior Staff (Outer Party)

The Party is interested only in enlightenment, and therefore does not itself engage in the petty games of partisan politics, which employs in near perpetuity the strawman, slippery slope, ad hominem, loaded question, and a seemingly infinite list of other logical fallacies. That domain is left for the lesser parties and any commissars who choose to participate at that level.

Ministry of Foreign Affairs

Creating an enlightened, harmonious, and prosperous world for the benefit of all

Ministry of Foreign Affairs

Overview

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs was created by a decree issued by the Chairman for the purpose of establishing a temporal diplomatic mission in the human world. Purristan itself exists in another dimension, and only the Enlightened can freely transit from one world to the other. For this reason, the Ministry operates as the government of Purristan within the human world.

The mission of this office is to implement the Chairman's vision, assist Purristani citizens with representative assistance, and establish formal diplomatic recognition with human nations, while advancing the aim of achieving political, economic, and cultural utopia for humanity. The Office is led by the Foreign Minister, who is personally appointed by the Chairman and serves at His pleasure. The responsibilities of the Foreign Minister include appointing and managing staff while representing Purristan in lieu of the Chairman. In addition, the Chairman has personally selected and placed Purristani theorists and philosophers within the Ministry for the purpose of assisting in its aim of enlightening humanity.

Chairman Meow + You = Enlightenment

Get to know your Foreign Ministry officials

Minister Mistofolees

Minister Mistofolees

Former Field Marshal of the Armies of Purristan, he now leads the Ministry and appoints his staff. He personally represents the Chairman and Purristan at all temporal human diplomatic missions.

Secretary Pounce De León

Pounce De León

As the Secretary of Human Relations, he serves as the Ministers' adjutant and may represent Purristani interests in lieu of the Minister. He oversees press releases, propaganda, and outreach.

Immanuel Kat

Immanuel Kat

One of the great theorists of Purristan, Immanuel joined the Ministry of Foreign Affairs as an advisor to the top officials and is responsible for modifying feline political theory so it may apply to humans.

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Citizen Services

Here to assist fellow Purristani citizens with all your representative needs

Overview

With the temporal return of Purristani government, formally the Temporal Crossover Observer State of Purristan, this office will work to assist our citizens in any way they may need. Though inter-dimensional travel is effortless and instant for the Enlightened, not all felines are Enlightened citizens. Many feral and so-called "wild" cats continue to reside exclusively within the human world, and we encourage all to seek the legal protections that recognized citizenship provide.

We offer assistance to all felines, whether they are Enlightened naturalized citizens of Purristan or not. All felines are considered citizens, regardless if they are aware of their utopia. It is presumed that all felines instinctually know Chairman Meow is their just leader and duly elected by their innate vote of confidence.

Citizens may seek counsel from this office; get any needed documentation in order; may be naturalized; and may contact this office at any time. Any citizen having trouble in transit may be assisted by other citizens, which this office may arrange. A member of the staff will reach out to all citizens who seek assistance from their Leader.

Note: Human servants are encouraged to keep a likeness of the Chairman easily accessible to all Purristanis for inspirational purposes.

Passports

At this time, most human nations do not require passports for feline travel between nations. But many of these nations have strict regulations regarding international feline non-teleporting travel. Remember to make arrangements in advance and ensure your human servant:

  • Contacts the embassy or consulate of the destination country to determine if there are any special travel regulations that may apply to you.
  • Obtains all necessary paperwork (such as health certificates) regarding your conventional travel.
  • Contacts your local human doctor (AKA veterinarian) to ensure you are in compliance with any health regulations for the human nations you expect to visit.
  • Checks with the Center for Disease Control (CDC) about the importing of you into the United States.
  • Checks with the Animal and Plant Health inspection Service (APHIS) about any international export regulations for your overseas travel.

Note also that your human servant must be made aware that buses, ships, or airlines may charge additional fees for you to travel. These may include terminal handling charges, customs clearance fees, human doctor (veterinarian) services, and/or travel cube storage fees.

If you are visiting a human nation that does require a passport, or if you need one, please contact us today.

Citizenship

All felines are de facto citizens of Purristan. All so-called "domestic" cats are Enlightened naturalized citizens. However, many feral cats are not aware of Purristan. Similarly, many cats that live in remote areas without humans, such as lions and tigers, are also potentially unaware. If you are a naturalized citizen, but need your citizenship certificate, you may request one from this office by contacting us today.

Naturalization

If you are an independent or feral feline, and wish to gain Enlightenment and formal citizenship, you will need to be naturalized. Naturalization is easy. All that is required of you is to be of the Genus Felis and officially make the request. A representative will teleport to a location of your choosing (so long as no humans can observe the area). This representative will handle any paperwork, deliver the oath as well as present your certificate of citizenship.

Being a recognized citizen of Purristan carries enormous privileges. For starters, you may, at any time, come to the Purristani utopia and live out your days in peace and harmony. Additionally, you may indenture your very own human servant, who will look after all of your needs. You are not obliged to offer any recompense to your human. Lastly, with the return of the Purristani government to the temporal world, you will now have full diplomatic protections. To begin this process, please contact us today.

Travel Assistance

Only the Enlightened may easily and freely engage in inter-dimensional travel. It is the enlightened feline who can amass, at will and casually, but only when unobserved by the non-enlightened, large enough quantities of pure energy, in orders of magnitude greater than the estimated mass of the observable universe, concurrently with sufficient amounts of exotic matter, within their spatial physical region in spacetime, to allow for the opening of a portal for free inter-dimensional transit to Purristan.

Many citizens reside in the temporal human world and, as a result, it is not uncommon for these citizens to become distressed and blue from the influences of this imperfect world, ruined by the bickering, willful ignorance, and stratifaction of so-called human civilization. Such melancholy and disappointment can interfere in your ability to freely transit. If you get stuck and need help getting back to Purristan, simply gaze at the likeness of your Dear Leader. If this is not an option where you are, please contact us immediately. We will promptly send a representative to a location of your choosing. Kindly ensure the place is not observed by humans. The representative will bring you warm milk, will remind you of your Great Leader, share stories of utopia, offer a personal pep talk, and get you feeling right as rain. You'll be coming home in no time!

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Project X

The Chairman's plan to achieve human enlightenment

Under the tutelage of Chairman Meow, the best minds of Purristan are actively working on a solution to the world's greatest human failure: their inability to achieve utopia. This plan operates under the code name "Project X." The question of how to help humanity achieve utopia is a vexing one; this is in large part because what constitutes a feline utopia may not be appropriate for humans anymore than a canine utopia would be for felines. "Project X" is intended to help humans discover utopia for themselves, in part because any utopia imposed from the outside may be rejected outright because of its imposition. Just as humans think they own cats, humanity must believe they achieved utopia upon their own design.

The Chairman intends to establish and recruit humans into a covert Political Commissary Army, and we're actively recruiting. This army, led by Chairman Meow, will serve as the vanguard for human Enlightenment. Using tools developed by the Ministry and harnessing the power of the Internet, this army will learn and develop their own political philosophy, learn about government, and, if all goes well, begin campaigning for public office. "Project X" will be divided into four modules, each designed to achieve a specific aim, and together, assist in achieving human Enlightenment. If you are a human, and would like to help the Ministry in its benevolent work, please contact us and let us know.

X community

Community

Planned as a web-based community of politically passionate humans, this community will be comprised entirely of members of the Political Commissary Army, and will be inspired to engage in local politics, debate, and enlighten themselves and others.

X campaigns

Campaigns & Causes

Planned as a web-based campaign management system to assist Enlightened Commissars to launch their own campaigns for public office or start popular causes. It will also offer tools to aid in operations, outreach, and fundraising.

X legislature

Legislature

Planned web-based legislature designed to educate humans on the sausage-making of policy, forming caucuses, collaboration, compromise, and voting, while sending passed proposals to Human World legislators.

X training

Training

Planned web-based school for training in campaign operations, such as canvassing, fundraising, and others, as well as presenting classes in political theory, economic theory, and more to help spur utopia.

In short, "Project X" is currently in development by the Ministry and is planned as a four (4) module Internet application consisting of (1) a politically themed & engaging social networking community, (2) a campaign management system to start and run campaigns, (3) a tool for debating and collaboratively developing public policy proposals, and (4) a campaign and volunteer training system. "Project X" is a robust, interactive, and fun community for those who really love politics, with the aim of helping humanity achieve enlightenment.

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Press Releases

Public announcements from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs

Enlightened Republic of Purristan in the news

Ministry Press Release: Blog Launch

- Pounce de León

The Bureau of Human Relations introduces the blog for staffer of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, as well as other feline and human guest bloggers.

Many humans have suggested, for some months, that a way to help spread awareness of Purristan is to launch a blog. After many months resisting, we caved.

MEOWPOLIS, Purristan – June 1 2015 – This Ministry has made no secret of our primary objective, which is to make as many aware of us as practicable. We know Project X is pointless if none knows of us, and thus none knows of our project. We have spent the majority of our efforts at raising awareness, and have met some modest success in this endeavor.

Many humans have written suggestions on how we could raise awareness more effectively. The primary and most consistent suggestion has been a blog for the Ministry. We have resisted this for several reasons; not limited to our lack of writers on staff, and our general lack of time for writing anything humans may find interesting enough to read or share.

In spite of our limitations, we caved to the demand. We concede it is a good idea, assuming we can produce respectably interesting content. Owing to our admitted limits, we have chosen to open our blog to all who wish to add content. Officials from our present staff will review guest feline and human submissions, possibly edit or suggest edits, and then add them to the blog.

This press release serves as the blog introduction, and the web address is BLOG.PURRISTAN.COM.

One risk of the blog is the various musings of Ministry staff. None of their words is official views of this Ministry or Purristan. However, because views expressed are those of staff, it some may interpret them as the views of Purristan. This risk was part of our resistance. Furthermore, by hosting guest writers, their views too may be mistaken as official views of this Ministry. We have chosen to accept these risks and proceed.

If this blog proves effective and successful, we may more quickly achieve our awareness goals. Once done, we may then move beyond the planning stage of Project X and into the earnest production stage. We continue to solicit advice and suggestions on how best to raise awareness, and as this blog shows, we will, when under pressure, accept our fate and do as requested. Though staff will write for this blog, officials will continue working to establish formal diplomatic relations with human nations, provide citizen services to expatriates living in the this world, and continue modifying for a human audience applicable feline political theory.

The Ministry wishes to thank all those who have suggested this endeavor. We hope it proves to be fun, and we further hope that it, in time, highlights very diverse topics and points of view. More updates to follow.

Ministry Press Release: Website Launch

- Pounce de León

The Bureau of Human Relations introduces the internet home for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs; Enlightenment of humanity now officially underway?

A Mew Research Poll shows 72 percent of domestic cats believe that human civilization has "maybe" evolved well enough to achieve political, economic, and cultural utopia, with 58 percent saying it is "worth a try".

MEOWPOLIS, Purristan – Dec. 16, 2014 – Motivated by recent polling and popular request, the long-awaited return of the Great Leader, Chairman Meow, has commenced. Frustrated by the failures they saw all around them, yet also optimistic of the potential of human progress, many Purristanis (known colloquially as "domestic cats") believe their human servants could achieve enlightenment if given the right tools and inspiration from His Eminence, Chairman Meow. These citizens chose to appeal to their benevolent Guiding Light — He who led their republic toward utopia and proven Philosopher King — to return to the temporal world and set about trying to bring enlightenment to the humans. To achieve this mighty and magnanimous goal, the Über-Cat decreed the formation of a temporal Ministry of Foreign Affairs, reformed the Felis-Catus Union Party, and appointed Ministry staff to assist in all facets of this endeavor, beginning with a web presence & formal introduction.

This press release serves as introduction, and the web address is WWW.PURRISTAN.COM.

Foreign Minister Mistofolees was quoted as saying "today is a glorious and historic day in human development - we have introduced the greatest and wisest of all to humanity. Through this Ministry we will promote His vision and achieve the most implausible of feats – utopia... for humans." The Minister also expressed the Chairman's desire of the Ministry to establish as physical embassy, "at some point, likely within the United States". He also noted his expectation that the United Nations will soon grant Observer Status to this representative temporal government, and recognize it as a sovereign subject of international human law.

Now that a web presence and the introduction of Purristan is complete, the Ministry will set about establishing formal diplomatic relations with human nations, provide citizen services to expatriates living in the this world, and begin modifying for a human audience applicable feline political theory. In addition, the Propaganda Office and the Technology Office of the Bureau of Human Relations will work, in tandem with select humans, to develop the tools and programs needed to nudge humanity toward utopia. Codenamed Project X, it is currently in the planning stage of development. For more information about Purristan, please inquire or review the website. More updates to follow.

Ministry Press Release: Public Information

- Pounce de León

MEOWPOLIS, Purristan – Mar. 26, 2014 – Some humans have inquired as to the exact nature of the Enlightened Republic of Purristan. To help, we wish to offer a conceptual example. The Republic achieved Enlightenment, and when it did so, the entire nation-state crossed over into a perfect dimension. However, many, if not most, Purristani citizens live between both worlds. In this world, we're commonly referred to as "domestic" cats. Often, when we leave your home, or when left to our own devices, we head back to Purristan. It is not uncommon for us to bring socks and other items.

Many Purristanis appealed to the Guiding Light, Chairman Meow, to come back to the temporal world and help lead humanity toward its own Enlightenment. Though He has tried a number of times before to no avail, largely because humanity hasn't been wise enough to accept Him as Leader, He has chosen to make another attempt. He has established the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to help manage this effort.

The Enlightened Republic physically lives in another world; however, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs exists here in the human world. For a human analogy, we suggest you read up on the Order of Malta. This is an existing sovereign nation recognized by the United Nations, but it has no geographic "home" here. This may help you understand the distinction between the Enlightened Republic of Purristan itself, and its diplomatic mission, the Temporal Crossover Observer State, as managed by the Purristani Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

TIME Magazine 2006 Person of the Year

- Pounce de León

MEOWPOLIS, Purristan – Dec. 23, 2006 – TIME Magazine announced its "Person of the Year!" TIME is a weekly news magazine published in New York City, United States. It is a significant and influential publication. Each year, TIME reviews people from all over the world and selects one that it names the Person of the Year. In 2006, that honor was bestowed on Chairman Meow, the Great Leader of Purristanis everywhere.

The magazine quoted Scottish philosopher, Thomas Carlyle, who wrote that "the history of the world is but the biography of great men." This time, it needed amending: the history of the world is but the biography of great cats! The Guiding Light was accurately described as notable for "bringing together the small contributions of millions of people and making them matter" as He led Purristan to utopia.

It noted that "America loves its solitary geniuses" and few could argue that our Philosopher King is indeed the greatest in accomplishment, acumen, imagination, aptitude, and wisdom of all who have ever come before. The Great Leader was extremely honored with this announcement, and was quite humbled that humanity was beginning to appreciate His greatness. The magazine announced its selection as follows, "[F]or seizing the reins of the global media, for founding and framing the new digital democracy, for working for nothing and beating the pros at their own game, TIME's Person of the Year for 2006 is" Chairman Meow!

Press Kit

Everything you need to spread the word about Purristan

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Overview

Purristan is a former nation-state that wisely chose the great Chairman Meow as its leader. There was a time when all cats were feral; but, in time, and with guidance from the Chairman, they learned to borrow humans, who served all their needs. Via this process, and other Great Acts, He led Purristan towards achieving the social, economic, and political utopia that philosophers for centuries have only dreamed of—from Rawls to Rand, Plato to Marx. The perfection of Purristani life was too spending for the infinite flaws of this world, and so it slipped through a membrane into the perfect utopian dimension. At that time, Chairman Meow's role as the Guiding Light of His people became unnecessary. In His good graces, and in response to Purristani citizens who bounced back and forth between worlds (known in the human world as "domestic" cats), He has returned to this flawed and imperfect world to lead humanity toward utopia, creating a small government, the Temporal Crossover Observer State of Purristan, run out of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, to help manage these aims.

General
  • Chairman Meow
  • Enlightened Republic of Purristan
Press Photos
Iconography
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Anthem
One Leader Over All
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"It is paradoxical, yet true, to say, that the more we [learn from the Chairman], the more ignorant we become in the absolute sense, for it is only through enlightenment that we become conscious of our limitations. Precisely one of the most gratifying results of intellectual evolution is the continuous opening up of new and greater prospects." – Nikola Tesla, Genius

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